I mentioned in another thread (now regrettably) of my personal views of vulgar language. I was not intending or even hoping for some rule of banishment of such. It is my personal views and, frankly, they are not worth much. I do find it a challenge, I admit, to express my feelings under my own guidelines at times. I do not resort to euphemisms, but, as with many, find myself using the same words and phrases over and over. I try to expand my vocabulary so I can express myself under my own guidelines.
Please do not think I expect anyone to change when they interact with me, or when I am involved in a thread. I do not want to be a kill-joy for these forums. They have been quite entertaining.
Edit: Actually the more I have been thinking about it, I am needing some advice here. By expressing my personal views on this matter, do you feel that I am making an imposition? The end of this thread has been all about respect. If I was imposing my views, could that really be respect?
Freedom to express once owns opinion and views is for EVERYBODY!!. If anybody feel offended by what you wrote and your language, I think they need to put a clamp on it, take their sensitivitys and pack them I a large case, lock it whit two pad locks - and then take it all to see a psychiatrist.
I think that bad language is a bit like writing in bold and all caps
I do feel free to express my opinion among this group. That is very nice. But my question is about respect. I figure that I am a minority here, probably a minority of 1, that feels this way about language. So, to illustrate, would it be respectful for me, who feels that homosexual acts are wrong, to go into a gay bar, uninvited, and announce my views? Personally, I would feel that to be wrong, an imposition. That is why I am asking this here, now.
No. If you insist that other people change to meet your views, or if you rail against them for not doing so, that’s not respectful, but expressing your viewpoint and disagreeing with others is not imposition, because you’re not imposing anything on anyone. I have no problem with disagreement – you’ve heard the show, right? Be as fiery as you like. Just don’t be disrespectful while doing it. http://www.dealingwithdisrespect.com/ expresses my views reasonably clearly
Yes that would properly be wrong and you just might get your ass kicked. But what we are talking about is nothing like that - it is more like going to a concert and finding that you don’t really love the music, but you stay anyways for the party and the people
It depends on the context and tone. If you went into a gay bar (say, with friends) and someone raised the topic of homosexuality and you politely shared your views, I don’t think that is disrespectful.
If you went into a gay bar and started yelling at people, or alternatively started telling people they are bad people, that would be different. I would consider that disrespect…but I would consider it disrespect outside a gay bar too.
I agree. I don’t want a list of rules, but I do want to provide guidance on how people have good debates without reading too little or too much into things. Maybe we just point people at http://www.dealingwithdisrespect.com (not that I want to outrageously pimp it, but it seems to be a good solution for this).
Really, I don’t think my comment was relevant. So, that is what is giving me the trouble I am having, the feeling of showing disrespect. Darn it, let me apologize!!!
This thing started by this Supermax1 makes me wonder if he/she (he for simplicity) doesn’t show respect because he may have never been treated with respect. This makes me think of a friend of mine (yes, it make come as a shock that I actually do have a friend ). He has two boys. I remember that when those two were at a young age, if they were acting out of line, their father would hold out his hand and say “come here, please.” Then the father would lead the boy off to a private place to talk. I have great affection for those two boys (I would be proud if they were my own) for they are a lot of fun, but yet so polite, respectful, and very well mannered (is that redundant?). I think they show respect because they learned it from their parents showing it, not only to others, but also to them. It just goes to show how we can influence others in a positive, or negative way.
Totally agree. Respect is something I think that is learned, and I think it comes from learning the social skills to discuss simple and complex topics with respect and dignity as well as having empathy for others. Empathy is surprisingly lacking in so many people.
I’ve skim read this, so apologies if I’ve missed something that makes my point invalid. The guy was breaking the #1 rule “don’t be a dick”, it’s going to happen from time to time, just ban and move on. It’s very clear who’s got a (valid) extreme view and who’s just fucking around to piss people off. Not sure adding more rules or dedicating a segment will change anything. We’re trying to spread the BV love around the net, that love will attract good and bad.
Sorry to dredge up this old thread, but after seeing the now banned users posts in another thread and reading through this one I have to say the restraint was Saint like…
For me at least respect is probably the wrong word to use.
Respect has to be earned, you earn respect by being a decent human being, by listening others opinions and trying to see their view. It’s perfectly OK disagree with others views and argue your point forcefully. You also qualify “respect” by clarifying the context for example I respect Jono as a human being and a musician (though I don’t share his taste in music). I can’t say I respect him as a programmer however because I have nothing to base his ability on: he may, or may not be a coding god. @jonobacon I am not trying to make a point about you in particular here: I just felt I needed an example and yours was an obvious name everyone would know, I could have made a similar example using several other people on this site - and not just the presenters.
Saying you respect someone implies you are giving your personal guarantee regarding the actions of this particular individual. Many people on this site have earned my respect, others I don’t feel I know well enough yet to say that about. Only one user has, so far, shown that they not worthy of this respect by “being a dick” and it is right that they have been banned. Everyone else here will be treated as though they deserve my respect until they prove otherwise.
I’m sure I will be disappointed again, at some point, but clearly the “dicks” in this community are a tiny minority.
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