Yes that would properly be wrong and you just might get your ass kicked. But what we are talking about is nothing like that - it is more like going to a concert and finding that you don’t really love the music, but you stay anyways for the party and the people 
I don’t think anyone took it otherwise.
It depends on the context and tone. If you went into a gay bar (say, with friends) and someone raised the topic of homosexuality and you politely shared your views, I don’t think that is disrespectful.
If you went into a gay bar and started yelling at people, or alternatively started telling people they are bad people, that would be different. I would consider that disrespect…but I would consider it disrespect outside a gay bar too. 
@sil mentioned http://www.dealingwithdisrespect.com - you should give it a read, I think you might find it handy.
I agree. I don’t want a list of rules, but I do want to provide guidance on how people have good debates without reading too little or too much into things. Maybe we just point people at http://www.dealingwithdisrespect.com (not that I want to outrageously pimp it, but it seems to be a good solution for this).
Too bad that debate and rhetoric isn’t a part of everybody’s basic education.
I guess I am not too comfortable when I think about the context of the discussion. Plug-in for Firefox; F.B. Purity cleans up and customizes Facebook
Really, I don’t think my comment was relevant. So, that is what is giving me the trouble I am having, the feeling of showing disrespect. Darn it, let me apologize!!! 
I’m secure that if anybody in this forum was disrespectful or way off in the boonies, someone would let him/her know about it.
As would I.
This thing started by this Supermax1 makes me wonder if he/she (he for simplicity) doesn’t show respect because he may have never been treated with respect. This makes me think of a friend of mine (yes, it make come as a shock that I actually do have a friend ). He has two boys. I remember that when those two were at a young age, if they were acting out of line, their father would hold out his hand and say “come here, please.” Then the father would lead the boy off to a private place to talk. I have great affection for those two boys (I would be proud if they were my own) for they are a lot of fun, but yet so polite, respectful, and very well mannered (is that redundant?). I think they show respect because they learned it from their parents showing it, not only to others, but also to them. It just goes to show how we can influence others in a positive, or negative way.
Totally agree. Respect is something I think that is learned, and I think it comes from learning the social skills to discuss simple and complex topics with respect and dignity as well as having empathy for others. Empathy is surprisingly lacking in so many people.
tried to PM you but I keep getting 500 errors
anyways, if you are in the market for a new policy, you could do worse than this creative commons one
Really? Weird. This was a PM in discourse?
Exactly! - I just assume, that if I’m an asshole to somebody random, then he or she will take it out on somebody else, maybe even family or friends.
I’ve skim read this, so apologies if I’ve missed something that makes my point invalid. The guy was breaking the #1 rule “don’t be a dick”, it’s going to happen from time to time, just ban and move on. It’s very clear who’s got a (valid) extreme view and who’s just fucking around to piss people off. Not sure adding more rules or dedicating a segment will change anything. We’re trying to spread the BV love around the net, that love will attract good and bad.
I am actually very impressed with your restraint. VERY impressed.
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Sorry to dredge up this old thread, but after seeing the now banned users posts in another thread and reading through this one I have to say the restraint was Saint like…
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For me at least respect is probably the wrong word to use.
Respect has to be earned, you earn respect by being a decent human being, by listening others opinions and trying to see their view. It’s perfectly OK disagree with others views and argue your point forcefully. You also qualify “respect” by clarifying the context for example I respect Jono as a human being and a musician (though I don’t share his taste in music). I can’t say I respect him as a programmer however because I have nothing to base his ability on: he may, or may not be a coding god. @jonobacon I am not trying to make a point about you in particular here: I just felt I needed an example and yours was an obvious name everyone would know, I could have made a similar example using several other people on this site - and not just the presenters.
Saying you respect someone implies you are giving your personal guarantee regarding the actions of this particular individual. Many people on this site have earned my respect, others I don’t feel I know well enough yet to say that about. Only one user has, so far, shown that they not worthy of this respect by “being a dick” and it is right that they have been banned. Everyone else here will be treated as though they deserve my respect until they prove otherwise.
I’m sure I will be disappointed again, at some point, but clearly the “dicks” in this community are a tiny minority.
You alluded to the different shades of respect, earned and implied. For the most part, true respect is earned. But, then, for example, giving up your seat so an older person may sit is a form of respect. And that person may have not one quality that deserves respect. Now why would one go ahead and show this respect? Is it not that ones respect for himself and the values he treasures? I know a man who, as a father, did not earn much respect. When I saw one of his almost grown children doing something very disrespectful to him, I had to hold back. A parent should be treated with respect, earned or not. It is a matter of principle of how a person should act.
And it is a matter of this principled respect that one would not retaliate in kind to disrespect. A persons honor and thus showing respect go hand in hand. So, I guess it comes down to that we show respect because it is either earned, of which we would feel from within, or it is obligated, of which may be very hard to do.
Why ?
A parent may be alcoholic, or a drug user Ultimately destructive to their child. One should assume others deserve respect unless, or until, proved otherwise Ultimately the most important job we have as humans is that we leave the world a better place for our kids, and teach them that the need to lead there kids to leave the world better for our grand kids.
For the record you are one of the many people on this site who has earned my respect. We may not agree on everything, though I suspect our differences are not that large,you clearly listen to the opinions of others.
Perhaps we define “respect” differently. When I say I respect someone I’m saying I’m positively giving them my endorsement. Which is different from I’m not saying “they are a dick”.
I try to live by that statement. Another rule I try to live by is to treat others as I would like them to treat me.
Perhaps there is another word for what I was trying to say when it comes to showing or treating others with respect, but I cannot think of any. I was trying to show that there are two sides, in my mind, of the one word. One that should always be done, and one that is earned and felt from the heart. I have known of people, who, by showing respect to one who does not deserve it, they have managed to improve things to where the person not deserving it has tried to change. And again, showing respect to such ones, for me, is being true to myself. It does not mean that I agree with them or will let them run me over or take advantage of me. It just means that I will treat them kindly and mannerly all the while trying to show patience. And, then, who knows, perhaps this situation and the person will think about how they have just been treated and how they have been behaving.
I do believe that we are probably thinking along the same lines, but it’s a communication disconnect, no doubt from my limited vocabulary.
[quote=“oldgeek, post:64, topic:2446”]
I do believe that we are probably thinking along the same lines, but it’s a communication disconnect, no doubt from my limited vocabulary.[/quote]
You have no need to apologise for limited vocabulary. I don’t know where you are from but given how well you write I would happily believe English is your first language.
I may have been overly pedantic last night regarding the meaning of the word “respect”. It does need to be earned but we both agree that we should all try to be decent with each other and show good manners.
To quote a very good philosophy, from a very dodgy film we should all
Be excellent to each other and party on dude.