Dear Sirs,
I enclose below an full and final offer for the purchase of your website. I believe 50p, half a pound of grapes and a box of space rangers raiders (pickled onion flavour) is commensurate with the value of this web property.
I look forward to transferring the domain to my associates in “popey premiere hosting (and blockchain) LLC”.
Best regards,
popey
Dear Mr Pope,
Many thanks for your communication. I understand your website offer to comprise:
We will take this under advisement.
Community members, shareholders, presenters, and other interested parties have 3 (three (trois)) days to respond with objections, requests for clarification, or approval of this offer, either by dispatch of electronic letter to this forum (4um) as response to this post, or as response by electronic communication to the website Twitter.com (dot-com) to be found at Universal Resource Locator https://twitter.com/badvoltage/status/978976184334798848. Many thanks for your consideration
The Management
There may be a glitch in negotiations here.
An opened box of Space Raiders is shown. @popey specifically says
I will offer my services as mediator here. For an appropriate price, of course.
Sir,
Many thanks for pointing out the error in our offer. The phone responsible for the autocorrect error has been fired.
Regards,
popey.
Sirs,
I would like to counter ex parte with the following offer:
The immediate increase in financial liquidity in this offer is clear and compelling, however the edibility of the Oreo crumbs may be compromised in transit, so caveat emptor in that regard.
Clearly, the offer presented by Monsieur Popey should be harangued and demeaned incessantly in the face of this clearly superior offer by ourselves, and should be accepted immediately. Our offer should be accepted immediately, not Popey’s. The acceptance of the offer should be in our favour and in no others. Please send all required credentials for hosting and domain ownership c/o “neuro’s not in any way shady back alley hosting (and blockchain) unlimited, that shady back alley everyone knows about, the shady part of town, i wouldn’t go there if i were you, that town that no-one visits if they value their wallet or spleen, SH1 4DY”.
Regards and salutations,
neuro
For the community, I think that @neuro offer is a bit insufficient. Namely in the matter of cold, hard cash. Specifically $2.19.
I would like to offer my services as a representative of Ali Mohammad LonGrover-Lutzenutz, a Nigerian Prince. He has $30g (gazzillian) tied up in escrow at the Fatso’s All You Can Eat, Message, Arcade, Oil and Tire Service, You Can Trust Us We’re Not A Scam, Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge, Bank and Trust (Trust is in our name!) of Nigeria or There Abouts. What Prince Ali Mohammad LonGrover-Lutzenutz is able to do is to send you a money order in the amount of $10,000. Unfortunately, lesser amounts are unavailable.
In that we can trust you (we can, right?), we will send such a money order to you and you can then use a money wire transfer service (we suggest Western Union) to send the remaining $9,997.81 to the Assistant Personal Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of the Personal Assistant of my Assistant’s Assistant Secretary’s Personal Asisstant’s Assistant and then the transaction can be complete.
Prince Ali Mohammad LonGrover-Lutzenutz looks forward to doing business with you.
I would publicly characterise the company Swizzels Matlow as perpetrating “one of the greatest pieces of fraud, I repeat the word fraud, on the British public by persuading people that Parma Violets are a form of tasty confectionery" 
I WILL SMASH YOUR FACE INTO A CAR WINDSHIELD, AND THEN TAKE DOROTHY LIGHT OUT FOR A NICE SEAFOOD DINNER, AND NEVER CALL HER AGAIN! PARMA VIOLETS ARE THE FOOD OF SAINTS! YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!
I understand, I’m very sorry to hear of your condition.
SEAFOOD? Bah! I shall console her with a proper Vegan, non-gmo, gluten free meal. It shall consist of kale salad with tofu-tahinni dressing, tofu ‘cheese sticks’, tofu clam legs, and a tofu-strawberry desert. All served with tofu on the side.
I can imagine that by the time the tofu clam legs come, you shall be a long forgotten item!
Just who is Dorothy Light?
Ah, should have watched the clip first!
Where do I send the invoice? 
Could Mr Pope elaborate on the denominations of coin he intends to use to satisfy the 50p element of his offer, detailing in particular the shininess thereof?
My offer:
3 beers plus an Indian meal.
One time offer. I will be @ OGG Camp later this year. @sil is expected to be there so can negotiate on your part.
I can see how far this thread has come and I think it is time for a misticcup.
clue - It’s not a zebra.
It just occured to me that I wasted my mediocre creativity responding on what ended up being a Will Ferrell movie. Hmphh.
Hurry up and make a decision guys, the space raiders are teasing me from atop the cupboard! Help!
You dare to mock Anchorman? You’ve got balls, I’ll give you that.
Interested as the box had clearly been opened was it a full box? Or have Stuart and myself got to extract the balance, in beer, at FOSS talk live or OGG Camp?
@sil I am assuming you will be at both of these. I believe you are confirmed as a speaker at at least one.
Regarding OGG Camp: can anybody recommend an hotel?