Help Required! Bad Voltage Versification Perversification

Next week we record Bad Voltage Season 1 Episode 20, and we have come up with a fun segment that we need your help with.

It is, in essence, a poetry competition. @bryanlunduke is, as you can imagine, more excited than most about this one.

Each of the presenters is going to write a poem, read them out on the show, and a special guest on the show will judge the poems and pick a winner.

Where it gets interesting is that we want you folks to suggest words that need to go in these poems. The rule is that every word suggested by a community member must be present in every poem (they don’t have to rhyme, just be present in the poem), including if that word is suggested more than once (within reason, if @neuro, being the arse he is, suggests Aq says “pit bull” 1000 times, that won’t count).

The presenter with the winning poem will then win a unique prize: they can punish the community member of their choice who submitted words by selecting an avatar for them for two weeks on the forum. So…be a dick…but don’t be too much of a dick. :slight_smile:

How to make a suggestion

Making a suggestion is simple, just reply to this topic with the presenter(s) (Bryan, Stuart, Jono, Jeremy) and the words you want. For example:

Bryan: Mississippi


Jono and Jeremy: breakdance

Obviously racist/sexist crap will be ignored.

The closing date for getting your words in is Sunday 6th July 2014 at 2pm UTC.


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To be clear, a couple of additional clarifications to the rules:

  1. We do not have to think up a rhyme for your word(s) – they just have to be in the poem, not at the end of a line. So don’t all rush to say “orange”. :smile:

The second one I haven’t discussed with the chaps, but: I think that the winner should only be able to punish a community member who gave them a word. That is: we can’t just randomly pick someone innocent and make them change their avatar :slight_smile: Agreed, chaps?

Totally agree. Will clarify the post now. :slight_smile:

Aq: prestidigitation.

I thought the sausage fingered one would enjoy that.

Jono: SESQUIPEDALIAN or Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Take your pick. :slight_smile:

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Did you fall asleep on your keyboard?


So, hang on, do I only have to add words which someone gives specifically to me, or do I have to include all the words which anybody mentions?

continues trying to work out how prestidigitation will fit anywhere

Jono: any word but “community” :smirk:


Bryan: steatopygic.
Jono: mammothrept.
Jeremy: gongoozler.
Stuart: floccinaucinihilipilification.

Can I suggest a word for each of the presenters? If so… enjoy. :slight_smile:

Starting to believe that you lot don’t even want to hear decent poetry.


Wikipedia didn’t have the longer words available in a format that could be easily copy / pasted.

Sound it out sport. You should be fine.

(At least I didn’t give you some of the band names that I try to pronounce on my show. :slight_smile: )

I’m assuming that Rudyard Kipling isn’t pooing himself from beyond the grave.

Should be. Most of his poetry was either hopeless or written with really patronising dropped Hs. See

Excited doesn’t even come close.

Do your worst, Internet.

I can’t think of any hard to pronounce words. So, how about words that make me think of the presenters.


Ah, extreme views on Kipling. A requirement of all well-read, English speaking fellows (and gingers) across the globe.

Oldgeek has, in four words, written the perfect poem.

Either that or has invented one hack of a weird dish for a restaurant. :slight_smile:

“Pit bull”? Oh, how you underestimate me.

Please respect our code of conduct which is simple: don't be a dick.