Closed Competition: Five line noncence poem


I am keen to keep the activity on this site up:

So the next challenge is a Limerick,or 5 line nonsense poem. For example see below.

This is not an entry it is copied from Wikilpeda. Feel free to post your favourite limericks and your own. Please be clear as the competition is only open to original entries.

The prize: I’m hoping to get a shout-out on the show but have not cleared it yet.

Otherwise the prize is the appreciation of myself and the rest of the community.

There was a Young Person of Smyrna
Whose grandmother threatened to burn her.
But she seized on the cat,
and said ‘Granny, burn that!
You incongruous old woman of Smyrna!’

Closure Date: End of February 2018

Very Punny (with eyes rolling)
Very Punny (with eyes rolling)

There once was a man called Aq
whose hair is surely not black
he started a show
with others you know
to show off their loud mouth knack


Dolores was her name,
She was the queen of insane,
Sung about zombies on No Need to Argue (1994),
I feel like having Irish Stew,
But like slide insanity - it’ll all happen a-gain.


@johnjohn101 Very topical and yes Dolores will be missed she is far too young for such a talent to leave us. Since we are paying tribute to great talents that are sadly no longer with us my entry.

I used to know Kirsty MacColl,
I met her dad Ewan an’ all.
He was a great bloke,
Loved to play Folk.
But she had the love of us all.


I DIDN’T HAVE THE irish STEW !!! honest.

although - I don’t really get it why people have things tattooed under their mouth/lip ?


Competition extended to Sunday 18th to allow for Saturday the 17th being St Patrick’s day.


An actor from Kent named Featherstonehaugh,
Was renowned as a terrible baugh,
He conversed with some featherstone,
Three young Germans named Heatherstone,
'till they sank comatose to the flaugh.

This is a (self-authored) example of an “antiheteronymerick” - a limerick where a word which is not pronounced like it’s spelt is used in the first line, and then all the rhymes are modified to use matching spelling. So if you don’t get it, the first sentence of this page might prove enlightening:

More here:


Antiheteronymericks. I like that.

When purchasing, get a receipt
To avoid all the cops on the beipt
There’s no glass of champagne
If you don’t use your bragne
And you’ll find yourself out on the streipt


Somethings aren’t supposed to last.

go on I have foamo.
I have foamo
I haver faomo
I have fameo


There was once a man moving from Nantuckit
An appartment full of things needing to truck it
Much to his sorrow
Not a van he could borrow
So he threw up his hands and said: I’ll just have to put it all on Craigslist

Poetry is so hard.


A Day In the Life

Tea at sunrise, admiring the sky’s hue
Hands dirty from planting and harvesting too
Health and happiness is found
Joy and peace does abound
An ale at sunset, I know that it’s true.


My Initial thoughts are this as been won by @ralight

There once was a man called Aq
whose hair is surely not black
he started a show
with others you know
to show off their loud mouth knack

But, we are a democratic community, if anybody disagrees let me know and I will set up a poll.

Personally I also liked the entry from @sil but l prefer the entry above.

Commendations on keeping this clean.

Please respect our code of conduct which is simple: don't be a dick.