And now for something completely different

A Microsoft story.

The board of Microsoft was discussing ways to increase market share. The CEO was focusing on search. One of the execs suggested making better products. He was ejected from the room after a few snorts and snickers. Then one suggested using genetic engineering.

So, they hired a geneticist. A mediocre geneticist, since they wanted to keep in line with the company itself. He suggested using a retro virus and that was approved. The geneticist soon realized that it would only work in the very young. Infants. So they started their testing on infant rats.

In time things were looking good. In a demonstration to the board members, the geneticist placed a infant rat in front of some tablets. It chose the Surface tablet over the Ipad and Android devices. The same with phones. When placed in front of some PC’s it chose Windows over Mac and Linux. It chose Outlook over Gmail and Yahoo. MSOffice over Libre Office. But, when it came to search, it would choose Google over Microsoft’s search. They adjusted the virus and with the next round it chose Duckduckgo over Microsoft’s search. Time and again this would happen.

The geneticist was quite pleased and said to the board that he thought the trials were successful and could be finished, saying that there could be a whole generation wanting Microsoft products.

The CEO was not happy. He slammed his fist on the table and said…

IT AIN’T OVER TILL THE RAT BABY BINGS!!!

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Disclaimer: At no time were baby rats harmed in the making of this story.

Unless, of course, that there is truth to the Thursday Next series. If so, WHAT HAVE I DONE!!! Baby rats, genetic manipulation, MICROSOFT!!! May there be mercy shown upon me!!!

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