With one’s recent ascension to the throne, one has been charged with a mighty and honourable task. Therefore:
I solemnly promise and swear to govern the Peoples of the Bad Voltage Community, and of my Possessions and the other Territories to any of them belonging or pertaining, according to their respective laws and customs.
I will, with my power, cause Law and Justice, in Mercy, to be executed in all my judgements.
I will, to the utmost of my power, maintain the Laws of UNIX and the true profession of the Kernel Source. I will, to the utmost of my power, maintain in the Bad Voltage Community the POSIX Reformed Religion established by law. I will maintain and preserve inviolably the settlement of the Church of Emacs, and the doctrine, worship, discipline, and government thereof, as by law established online. And I will preserve unto the Bishops and Clergy of vim, and to the Churches there committed to their charge, all such rights and privileges, as by law do or shall appertain to them or any of them.
The things which I have here before promised, I will perform and keep. So help me Linus.
As fanciful as the space travels of one’s former colony are, one does believe that that photograph has been falsified in some manner. For example, my beloved grandson Harry reliably informs me that such laser devices do not normally emit a visible light. Given his exploits in one’s fleet of Westland Apache helicopters, one does not doubt him for a moment. In addition, one is sure that cats would not survive for very long in Mars’ rarified atmosphere, thus the cat would likely already have perished before any fanciful laser weapons could be brought to bear upon the poor feline.
Darn it, I let my Georgie cat out a while back and haven’t seen him since. Wondered where he went off to. Probably schmoozing up some dinner from Marvin. Darn cat.
