Part 2 of (eventually) 4. Jono’s prizes are at home. Bryan’s are still in transit (I assume).
The packing
A good sturdy packing bag courtesy of the USPO. I’d love me one of these bags. Note the customs declaration has been blacked out. We don’t want any spoilers, do we?
The note
No note, folks :(.
The contents
Previously I had known two things about Buffalo, New York. Firstly that one of the stories about Buffalo wings is that they originated in a bar in Buffalo and secondly that Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
It’s a hat! An American hat! For when I want to wander around town and be annoying. (The joys of living in a tourist hotspot, eh?)
Dream of my dreams! Joy of my joys! It’s a virgin bag for my own use. Note the funny markings on the bottom left showing that both the metric system and decimals have yet to catch on over the pond.
Within the bag was this box. Oooh… that’s useful. A battery. But, wait! No, it contains not a battery but…
A paper wallet! Ironically the mighty wallet is quite small. But it is nice. This is useful since this is what my current wallet looks like:
Moving on…
Unfortunately, my current diet is strictly coolers, shooters and hooters-only. Also, not possessing a TARDIS, I think I’m going to have difficulty redeeming this.
A magnetic speaker. This is useful since my phone is waterproof and my bathroom is entirely made of steel.
A phone extender. For American phone connections. I think I have an old VT{something, something} keyboard which may find a use for this, though.
Branded tat! A plastic bottle opener for opening plastic bottles and a bulldog clip confusingly with a buffalo on it. I imagine that if I’m ever trapped by bad guys in an 80s TV action show, these will be invaluable.
Breath mints. Because Jeremy is saying that I smell.
Some beads. I will throw these at my girlfriend in the hopes that she’ll get topless and post pics here. Keep hammering F5, neckbeards…
A pen! Stuart could’ve used this to sign his book!
A PCI network card. Only useful if I have a computer with an obsolete operating system.
Oh! Convenient.
First one to use the CD key wins! Is it just me or does this look like the sort of fake numbers used on adverts in films?
Sports fans can’t use smart phones. I think it’s some US law against “smart” and “sports” being semantically associated.
Funny money! It’s like real money but can only be spent in a single place, isn’t legal tender and is intended to lock “real” money away in the issuer’s vault. See also: Scottish money.
STICKERS! Cries of “got” and “want” should be appended as comments on this post.
Some sort of currency. I can’t quite read the denomination or the origin against the glare of all the liberty and freedom it’s giving off. Fun fact: US coinage appears to have the heads-side upside down relative to coinage featuring our Glorious Monarch.
